Again, Blame Yourself

This one goes out to feminists and women in general. With any segment of feminism, I’ll gladly admit men share a portion of the blame, and perhaps an even larger portion is typically to be holstered upon the back of the elite capitalists who’ve devised it all to the detriment of men and women.

Men have the tendency to forget the needs of women, or to never study them to begin with. This alone should drive many to anger and a massive overhaul within our society. But instead, men end up patting themselves on the back for acting in a way they think is manly, instead of seeking out the virtue in their manhood and by extension not putting too large a burden on women.

And capitalists have done more than enough to divide men from women until they each cling to whatever morsel of identity they have left. I can see no end to this until people decide to be men and women without defining themselves so promptly as employees and people who enjoy certain things. People need to define themselves as a composite of what they enjoy, what they’ve endured, and the virtues they desire to embolden within themselves. They cannot continue to think of themselves as people who do this or that work (for work is properly only a means towards a virtuous end). They cannot go on thinking that life is a lengthy fight to thwart all that makes them feel less than perfectly happy. For if they do think of themselves as employees and consumers they will ensure their employers remain forever in control over them.

With these mistakes abound, they will even regret one of the boldest and most virtuous adventures there is in life: having children. Thus, they have. To be sure, people have always toiled within themselves to deflate that bloated feeling that the children they have have been had mistakenly. However, abortion and capitalism really do the parent no good by inflating one’s head with potential destinies wherein a child doesn’t fit.

Within a culture where personal happiness (in the modern hedonistic, not virtuous, sense) is placed higher than devotion and the delayed gratification of sacrifice, you get women who are “consumed by boredom and dissatisfaction,” somehow unironically feel “like my life was basically a middle-class prison,” “fantasize about a life unburdened by dependents and free from the needs of others,” ruminate whether — having written one — they would’ve “written my second or third book?” or traveled “to chase that elusive story” because they feel “motherhood has slowed me down so much.” And it goes on. Without any visible notion of satire, the article quotes these women as if they were suffering a painful and common problem that hasn’t been talked about enough. One admittedly small German study indicated that “8 percent of its 1,200 participants regretted becoming parents” and yet the article’s author claims these women aren’t outliers.

Honestly, this is absurd. With all due respect, this is what happens when women console themselves. Sympathy has it’s values: understanding and advising people who are suffering is clearly a good thing that can prevent people from feeling alienated. But women becoming introspective and not saying enough is enough, at some point or another, is truly a virtuous impulse gone awry. Perhaps it’s the mother instinct in a hall of mirrors. Maybe I need to be corrected about this.

Looking at this situation, alongside others I’ve experienced in my own life, however, I don’t think that I am wrong. Call it mainsplaining and close the tab if you think that’s what tolerance is, but something here just sounds like soliloquy of sympathy, like one were being inundated in fresh air — like there was simply too much of a good thing.

Being critical about your own ability to be a mother can and has led many women to become even better mothers. Feeling like you aren’t really capable of doing anything without children, or even imagining what you want to do without them in your life can lead to figuring out how to be not only a better example but also a person with stronger, healthier habits. Hell, it can teach you how to deal with boredom and the lies you tell yourself, two problems the young find no end to.

A few of the accounts in the article sound like outright envy. Envy and jealousy are always impulses better dealt with by addressing one’s lack of humility, that is: a lack of accepting and appreciating one’s own strengths and gifts. That has always been the best choice for someone suffering depression. It will forever remain the best thing to do when bored — for believing one has nothing to do can always mean taking the time to appreciate or better what you have done.

I admitted earlier that this is not always a woman’s fault. Men indeed neglect their wives a lot — with one of the mothers, the husband and her split up. Capitalism has also seen a recent profiteering in the market of people’s boredom and self-loathing: traveling and exploring have become popular as never before, makeup and beauty products promote youthful appearances to those long beyond their youth, the promise that working and earning more can mean more freedom is on display everywhere, etc.

This is all true and atrocious. Men have to step up and be better husbands and before that better men. I ask the reader to not discredit my sentiment on the matter, for it is a serious topic I wish to tackle later and with as much gravitas as a man’s shoulders can hold. Capitalism I will rebuke nearly as often as I pray an Ave.

As for the present, it must be emphasized that women have to stop accepting lies about their womanhood. Their strength is misrepresented as rudeness; their passion for caring as an obsession with pleasing others; their beauty as youth; their freedom as employment; their purer longing for intimacy as the exploited enjoying their exploitation. Forgive me for sounding like all sorts of the typical Republican which I am not, but there has to be some personal responsibility taken in how women live their lives. Indeed their bodies are the products choices, so women must take another long and critical look at what it means to be born a woman, and embrace that fact.

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